We got a massage through our hotel. It was an Andean Herb massage from two women who spoke Spanish. As the hour passed, she worked through the tension points throughout my whole body — I felt as if she were pushing, rolling, coaxing it out of me.

At the nape of my neck lay all of the weight of my work.

Each calf was my community – the left my family, my right friends.

I thought about who I can choose to do emotional work for, how nothing is lost from my explorations before today. I’m trying to let go all of my expectations of who I should be and what it should look like.

I just can’t.

As she kept massaging me, I brought myself down into the feeling.

I reminded myself that my body is here, and it is my home. These thoughts are just visitors, and I am safe.

I am safe, here in my home.