I told Kevin the episode was from a more generalized trigger — from being able to process the entirety of the past two years of constant change and trauma now that my life has a chance to slow down for a period (which I think is kind of true).

At root, I didn’t want to tell him about the email because it would just remind him of what happened, or, said another way, it would prohibit him (and by association us) from forgetting Greg and Jeff entirely. Once disclosed, we would then have to talk about it and relive it over the course of the coming days.

We would have to remember.

I reached out to my high school friend Liz in NYC instead. She was a support during that time and it helped to have someone familiar but somewhat distant with the situation be my sounding board.

In a way, I’m glad it all happened — I think I was finally able to process the horror that was my two years of captive abuse under Greg once and for all. And though the email was forced upon me, it came at the moment when I was personally ready to have the reckoning.

It got really bad, but I feel really good today.
It was the release I’ve needed.

I’m okay 🙂