I like gay marriage because it creates a new class of minority — “the gay husband”. I’ve found that another gay man that only wants to fuck one of us is as committed to the destruction of our marriage as the religious right. Other gay married men are the only ones committed in the day-to-day labor of our success, because theirs depends on ours.

Gay marriage cultivated the only safe space for masculine vulnerability I’ve ever seen. Because if a married gay man is vulnerable to a community of other gay married men, well, he has someone that the others will recognize to defend him against exploitation.

So, like, idk, I think a lot about decolonizing masculinity, and I think gay male marriage has a real place in that convo. I’m like super excited for the real opportunity to take down manhood from the inside lol

I’m starting to understand that in HarCo, for lack of gay male role models, I looked to women as peers and role models. And then I was the second class of men at a transitioning all-girls college. Though I identify as a man, I know feminine labor. It’s the role I played most of my life in straight society.

***No man knows how to do this labor, including gay men***

I fill a need that is sorely lacking.

So the guys of my kind-of-new house, like, I am certain they think of the community I’ve created as home.

I don’t want to pillage.

I just want to be together.

I don’t think men as a category know how to do that.