We spent Christmas in NYC this past year with my lifelong BFF Becca Asaki, because her apartment is the closest thing we have to going home for the holidays.
When she returned and joined us from visiting her family, we talked about power in interpersonal relationships. She made the astute observation that American masculinity is premised on one dynamic, which fundamentally breaks our men and their capacity for empathy:
“a boy is dominated by other males until the point he’s strong enough to dominate others himself.”
It was a watershed moment for me.
It made my whole life, the constant and roiling tumult, make sense in one fell swoop.
A man won’t be incentivized to ever be vulnerable if he and his peers are categorically trained to attack each other’s soft sides, no? Maybe it’s even kind of dangerous?
Dusty Bookshelves 