That’s such a beautiful sentiment.

For me, marriage became a continuous process that lasted well after the wedding — Kevin and I are hitting our ten year anniversary of our becoming boyfriends next month. It is only in hindsight that I realized, during the entire 8 years of dating before the nuptials, we were always changing the dynamics of our relationship to fit whatever suburban milieux we existed in at the time.

It was chaotic, harrowing, and always so incredibly marginalizing for the both of us. We were never able to rest long enough to get our act together to make a concerted move into a city until after we both said “I do.”

Marriage allowed us to stop asking “what does this relationship have to be to fit into this community?” and start asking “what does the community have to look like to be worthy of our relationship?”

Rebecca Solnit wrote about how radical structural change happens when the margins become the center, and that’s what happened in a very real way w both of our identities.

We became the center; we became citizens.

And I only hope the same happens to you both ❤️ It can be hard process, for how visibly it all plays out, but it’s so worthwhile.

So, cheers, Elena!

Upward and onward!