Hey Becca,

Thank you, as always, for an amazing visit together last week!

I felt a couple times, though, that the overwhelming maleness of the room may have stepped on your toes.

If you would like to have that conversation, whenever you have the capacity, I’d like to know what our fam needs to do better to make you always feel welcomed, safe, respected and secured. Unfortunately, I can’t defeat misogyny in the greater world, but I can make a dent in it within the space we share.

You are always welcome to be candid about the ways that our mostly-gay-male gatherings can do better. Our time together should never come at your expense.

This essay below is the philosophical underpinnings and overall vision of the family that Kev, Greg, Jeff and I have built. We still have a ways to go in achieving it (and it is quite unofficial), but I want a family where everyone can be who they are, unoppressed and unafraid.

I want to be a gender expatriate.
I want to be on your side of that border wall ❤

Anyway, I hope you had a good trip to Iceland with Yuki!

Love ya,
TK

****

“I think there’s a certain beauty, one inextricably linked to a kindred kind of evil, in that our individual present can’t escape its past. We must always be placing ourselves in relation to the religious, ethnic, gendered, and racialized institutions our existences are founded upon — whether we are inside them or outside, citizens or expatriates.
 
No matter what side of the walls we find ourselves on, I’m glad we can always rely on there being people beside us in our inclusion or exclusion. That when banished from our respective versions of Eden, we can (help each other) plant our own gardens where we are the ones who are the gatekeepers.
 
That, together, whether they like it or not, we can create our own damn homes.”