This was dated on July 2014.

I have no idea why the hell I was praying. I never really considered myself religious in any way — I wouldn’t disavow the institution verbally, I just pretended it didn’t exist.

The church’s belief structure stopped being relevant to me around the 8th grade, and I immediately stopped going when my Dad dictated it was up to me and my brother to take ownership of our faiths — allowing us the option not to go on Sundays if we didn’t want to.

And neither of us wanted to.

Most importantly, though, I am kind of freaked out that that’s how I talked about Dan. Idk why I needed to pray for patience and understanding from Dan for not being better in touch.

As I try to recall, he maybe only called me maybe six times in all of the 2010s. He never made any effort to keep in touch with me, but I ~always~ maintained the connection, at great cost.