I used to regard my capacity to love as my inherent flaw, the reason I’d always be less than, the thing always talked around but never actually named. It was the reason I could never picture the man I’d become; the lives I might lead; let alone the person I might spend my life with. I kept my being gay so hidden in shadows and was so ashamed of it that I never intended to stick around long enough to find any of the answers to those questions. I never even let myself dream about them.

     But then I met you, Kev.

     You showed me the gentle warmth and enduring exhilaration of loving someone so completely as I love you today. The daily experience of being your partner and best friend for these past 8 years has taught me to love myself and to accept who I am. Without that, I don’t think I could’ve ever found a community as supportive as the one that is here today, all unequivocally happy to see me stand across from you today.

You are the reason for all of it, and it has made all the difference. I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for that.

     So thank you.

     During the course of our marriage, I promise to always listen, to hear your hopes and dreams and to help you draw the map you need to get to them. I promise be the first person throwing confetti after each one of your successes, and I promise be the arm around your shoulder during each setback.

     I promise to be there during the walks along the banks of the Seine River and the backpacking trips across the Yucatan, just like I promise to be there during every flu we’ll get, through the layoffs we might see, and the check-engine lights that surprise us at the worst possible times.

     I promise to continue this beautiful partnership where I do the dishes after you cook the meal and you fold the laundry after I wash the clothes — that every burden big and small will be faced together.

     I promise to be accountable to you in every decision I make and that I will own my every mistake and bad judgment, so that we live a relationship based on mutual respect and truth.

     But most importantly and, honestly, the most difficult, Kev, I promise to tie my liberation to yours. I promise that no matter the historical moment we find ourselves in, we will always walk hand in hand down that street with both grace and dignity. I promise you that no part of my love for you will ever be hidden in the shame and shadows I once knew, that we will only ever stand together, proudly, in the daylight.