I think I gave you a slim outline of where we left things — it was clear he and his husband severed me from my Baltimore community (which I spent labor integrating them into from afar) in order to have an ongoing sexual triad w my ex-best friend there.
I kinda blew things up, and I demanded they tell me the full story. In that process, I was fed one lie after another, which Greg kept maliciously gaslighting me about. He once told me casually that he had an intense obsession w sadism, and it was definitely clear in reviewing how things went in hindsight.
Eventually I built a wall, and told them not to communicate with us until we spoke to them.
KP and Jeff, the husband, were best friends too, and there’s been a lot of uncertainty about the future of their relationship. We’ve been lobbying emails across the divide, about one a week, for a while. I was the last one to response w my take on things — apologizing for the areas
I could’ve been better, saying some needed boundaries.
I mentioned in my email my then-upcoming trip to see my biological family and meet my niece – my first time seeing them since our rupture around my wedding. It was a pretty fraught trip, a reckoning of some really deep hurt feelings about my place in the family (ultimately super healing and positive, though!)
But during the trip, Kevin sees an instagram photo one of his college best friend posts. She was taking a selfie from inside Greg and Jeff’s apartment.
It was a surprise to see, because they are only the barest of acquaintances. And when KP reached to her, she, too, said she was surprised because they were also acquaintances who hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in months. Greg had reached out to her out of the blue.
The timeline of communication speaks to him inviting her over shortly after receiving my email about my upcoming difficult trip.
He was maliciously violating a boundary w the intent of having us see this photo during my visit to the Kuhns.
The pointedness of that act and the clear violation of a boundary w the intent to destabilize me just validated my gut feeling that a lot of my tumult over the last year was induced — by him.
It’s so bald faced an attempt to kick me when he thought I’d be down, that it makes me wonder if he would escalate things again.
He’s a civil servant at the Smithsonian, so if the government shuts down again … he’s going to have a lot of free time on his hands.
I just wanted to let a bunch of people know what’s going on — I don’t know what escalation might look like, but I felt better having a community of people aware of the situation.
Just in case there’s an emergency, I don’t have to waste time explaining!
Oh, and KP and I have both blocked them on all social media.
We’ve decided to ghost them.
And just a couple more details:
Greg has some severe mental illnesses that he refuses to get treated, having admitted he has had to be forcibly institutionalized several times throughout his youth.
He’s also a quart-of-liquor a day alcoholic.
